I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
