i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize