Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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