I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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