a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
where are my eyebrows?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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