yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
