i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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