We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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