Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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