You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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