it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
