love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
