so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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