WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
