Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
