Porn is love you can see.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my being single is dangerous.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
