I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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