My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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