found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
