Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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