searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize