I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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