How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
