i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
