Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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