it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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