i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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