Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
