Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize