Is it because I queefed?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
