Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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