Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
