Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
