Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
