so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
