Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
