so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
