Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
