So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
