tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
