I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
