so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize