Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Terrible idea I love it
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
