I'm going to jail i love you
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
