Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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