break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I AM VODKA MAN
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
