Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
