hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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