I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize