Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
