Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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