Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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