I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
COCAINE IS GR8
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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