A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
