I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
