Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
