well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
sex in a hospital.. check
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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