I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
