mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
