I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
