Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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